to be embarrassed by my former self,
to cringe at all my blindnesses,
to understand, as I didn't at the time,
why people said no thank you,
why they slipped out of my life
Now I've conveniently forgotten
so many of them, lost touch
with almost all.
Not that they'd be eager
to hear me say
how I was thoughtless -
this was something they knew all along
But I should know -
all our lives
have machinations
that keep grinding us
through unexpected turns,
churning us through changes
we never would have asked for,
never would have thought that we could bear
When they spit us out, maybe we're better,
reciprocal receptors better honed,
maybe we appear more as we felt ourselves inside,
more how we had hoped we would be seen.
©Wendy Mulhern
February 14, 2022
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