The Laughter of Relief

Under the hand of

that which holds me

with gentle humor

comes the release

of a great weight

and the relief of knowing

all my guilt and ignorance and fear

are nothing 

They have not turned my maker against me,

they have not barred me

from the place of peace,

there is no sentence

meted out in loss of joy

I am beloved, as it turns out,

and incapable of falling,

and none of this worry

has made me drop

in the esteem of that which 

loved me from the start

and always will.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 30, 2017

April Snow

It can snow at the end of April

and people can find meaning

in travel to distant landscapes,

and unexpected lights of recognition

can travel between eyes

We are tentative like strangers,

careful not to offend,

we keep our yearning to feel like family

tucked deep, lest we engender

discomfort at our vulnerability

We think we sense

affection and appreciation,

we hope that we convey it,

not sure how to get beyond

the stiff hugs, the watchful smiles.

But we’re hopeful —

it can snow at the end of April

and it can thaw before May.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 30, 2017

Discovery

Joyful and relieved

to have abandoned

all my expectations,

I can delight in your colorful self,

your undetermined and undecided self,

the edges you have still to find,

your willingness to be

as yet unformed

I can rejoice that

none of this is up to me,

but all of it is wonderful,

masterwork of that which always

surpasses my imagination,

surprises my anticipation,

and holds it as a gift to all of us

the way you let yourself discover you.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 28, 2017

Leaving

Life is always knitting things together —

pick up an old mat, and you’ll find

many things have taken up shop,

habitats of dark and moist

created in the hidden spaces,

roots and mycelium, pill bugs, spiders,

the smell of earth

Pick up anything that’s been in place awhile

and you’ll find unexpected emotions,

sticky at your throat and maybe

behind your eyes —

your caring has set up shop

under your awareness

because life is like that

You will still leave

(life is like that, too)

but not without feeling

the many ways you were connected

but never knew.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 27, 2017

Joy’s Return

My father-in-law says to the empty room

(his hand gesticulating)

"That’s the place where all the people

yesterday and before came,

they were dancing,

they started a dance there"

While the clear tones of Appalachian Spring

soar from the radio

and I did just dance

here in the next room

because I couldn’t help it

Outside, blossom petals

carpet the streets with grace,

not caring if it’s sun or rain

It feels like it’s been

a long and tenuous time

but here I am,

where I belong,

hoping to take with me

next time I go

something like the memory of birds wheeling

to help me find my way back.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 26, 2017

Point of Perfection

It was strange to step out from the story

of bumbling incremental progress

under tutelage of experts

in every undertaking we aspired to master

It was breathtaking

and hard to believe

we could progress

from the point of perfection,

lovely always, in everything we do

It seemed almost unfair

but we got used to it —

we attained it in one area

and then expanded

And found there still is plenty

of space to learn and grow,

starting from here

where we are good and worthy,

starting from here

where we are humble and perfect,

where we begin right

and so continue.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 24, 2017

After

And suddenly

I feel myself standing tall,

tall enough to walk between

the sun-sifting trunks of slender trees,

their high limbs held in the dance of prayer

always, through sun and rain,

wind and seasons, 

starlight, moonlight, daylight

I can move softly

among the shifting colors,

delivered here, as I am,

after a long struggle

(I fought with myself and won,

or so it would appear)

the struggle receded with the darkness

and as a result,

everything is changed.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 23, 2017

Sun Break

When the sky clears,

it’s bliss to be ready

to jump on that wind 

and journey

northward with the flat-bottomed clouds

while wind chimes sing,

it’s enlivening to feel the cold

and be free to go

There’s a wistfulness to knowing

I will go inside and wait

for my time window to open,

which may or may not coincide

with the day’s hour of sun.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 22, 2017

Whether

One world separates from another

along the subtle lines

of cause and effect.

They have coincided in thought

for a long time, and now the severance

brings astonishment

It comes down to 

whether what you want

can be held hostage

to what somebody else

wants you to do,

and if it is believed

you have to pay your dues in suffering

to earn your worth for all the good you crave

Or whether you are free

to be the good you sense you are,

with no kowtow to any preconditions,

whether you must wait before you love

or whether you love first, and win the world.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 20, 2017

Softly

The task of these days

is the gentle release,

not so much a prying of fingers

as becoming water-like,

slipping through 

like current through seaweed,

the lack of thrashing

leaving my ankles free

A kindly goodbye

to the ghosts of unfruitful hopes,

directions untaken, positions outgrown

and a soft reaching forward

towards what is not solid yet,

whisper embrace of what isn’t yet known.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 19, 2017

Seeking my Daily Poem

Rhythms from people’s words

float through my drifting thought,

cadences of voices

with all the meaning

transmuted into something

that will be dreams later,

after I give up

my hold on the day

Night wants to claim me,

my eyes feel

this is a good idea.

I’m holding out for inspiration

but maybe it’s here.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 18, 2017

Prayer the Next Morning

Walk my feet upon this earth,

show my way,

fill my day,

guide me in my native worth,

your heart is where I stay

Joy dawns after rain,

so I’m lifted up again

and see, once more, where I forgot

I’m not alone, I’m not alone

I know that I have work to do

to live in wholeness, to be true,

and since your love is what we are

I’ll try to hold to you,

and since you author all of us,

you’ll see I follow through.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 17, 2017

photo by Edward Mulhern

Surrender

This battle is too great for me.

Let me be washed

in rising tide

that comes to me

here where I lie,

that cleanses me

without my doing anything,

that gives me back my reason why.

This battle is too great for me.

Let me be bathed in warming sun

that never rations its rays,

but floods out the sorrow and failure

with clean washed, clear eyed day.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 16, 2017 

Matters

Black lives matter,

and fair contribution matters,

and mending and cleaning and sorting matter

And underneath all the matter

is the current of Spirit

that doesn’t even need to get involved

in all that tortuous stitching,

full, as it is, of its own surging intricacy,

its fractally multiplying joy,

its amnesty for all.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 15, 2017

photo by Edward Mulhern

Look Up

Walking with a box of stuff —

it’s awkward and it’s heavy,

and now I notice

that the bottom is giving way

and the box sagging misshapen

as my knees try to catch the falling items.

They are slipping out anyway,

tripping up my feet

Let it go. Let it all go —

There’s nothing here you really need,

your new life will have no place for this,

no time, and no allowance

for all this dusty mustiness.

Let it go, look up —

the sun is shining through plum blossoms.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 13, 2017

Gadarene

A herd of swine

may run violently down a hill.

This is not a strange occurrence —

it happens all the time,

betrayal hard on the heels of betrayal,

blame hard on the heels of blame,

all those justifications, all those

indignant and disappointing stories

following each other to their

collective destruction

What’s wonderful, and what may seem miraculous

is what remains when all the herd is gone,

the beatific peace

that was your essence all along,

ultimate justice, fruit of an act

that’s truly kind,

to sit now clothed and quiet

in your right mind.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 12, 2017

Impending Departure

How can we leave? you said,

How can we let this all go?

We let it go because it never held us —

We held it, just as we hold ourselves.

We contain each feeling we’ve imbued this place with,

we take the substance with us

when we go

After all, we always have been travelers —

before our birth, and through this time

and onward,

we move, to our delight,

in waves of constant newness,

explorers of infinity,

our never ending home.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 11, 2017