I Choose

 

Well, all of us have broken pieces,

all of us have memories
of things that didn't go the way we hoped

And all of us have voices
with their diagnoses
of where things stand, given what has happened

But all of us have choices,
and they're absolutely different
from what the voices tell us that they are

I choose
to let my love come back,
and not let it be stranded
waiting for someone to be lovable

My love knows where it comes from
and it knows to be itself. It never waits
for a precisely perfect time.
My love comes back - it's happy to be home.
My love goes outward knowing how to shine.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 31, 2021

Light on the gate

 

Light on the distant gate -
the afternoon sun signaling
beneficence,
a gleam I can feel
way up here on the hill,
a settling, a proof
that nothing we do stops the kindness
bestowed on every living being,
nothing they do stops the kindness  -
it has the last word
in the bitterest disputes,
it melts them to calm
like an evening bath.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 30, 2021

OK

 

It's OK to cry,
though it may just be
circles around myself,
stories that invoke the longing
for some deeper comfort

It's OK to cry, for all that wetness
can melt the lines, can help dissolve
what is harsh, intractable,
what is self-important,
what didn't realize
we are all in this soup together  -
all small, all huge, all holy,
all loved and infinite,
all needed,
all able
to tune the unifying chord.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 29, 2021

Stay

 

She came home  -
the little quicksilver
snuggly cuddly one,
the one who knows how to move,
who takes the spark connection
and rubs it up electric

She came home  - I asked her
where she had been
and she told me  -
it had been a soft escape  -
I had warmed the place enough
for her to return,
all furry and shiny
and bubbly and bright

She managed
to let herself drop like liquid,
coalesce from the tight places
where she had been wrung out,
squeezed beyond all recognition,
used as the engine for something
so unlike her essence

But she escaped
and came back softly,
and now I am intent
on keeping my space
kind enough
so she will stay.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 28, 2021

All in

 

Let's catch you up
in the love that has no outside,
the love that is all in,
the love that all are in

Let's catch you up in the love
that has no cavity,
no void - we can dance
in the honeyed light of fearlessness
since all our here is cherished

Let's catch you up in celebration,
sing your name in joy,
share this sweet belonging
till all our sorrow's gone.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 27, 2021

Full

 

The fullness of the air,
the day, the night, the rain -
no place for emptiness  -
not here, not anywhere

The energy of caring
and the fact of everything
insistent in its being
are here, right here

Once you know it
you will never feel alone,
or if you do, you can be still,
and reach out with your longing
and your hope

It will fill in all around you
like a song,
it will light up
and make you holy
like a prayer.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 26, 2021

See the light

 

The sky lights up,
the trees light up,
the squall eases

The road leads,
we follow
with our daily awe

So many clues,
so many signs
of overarching love

We will believe,
for look - right now
we see the light.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 24, 2021

Getting to Solar

 

The tiredness you brought in
was ponderous,
but underneath, like phosphorescence
glinting in the wave of your exhaustion,
was elation  - at your progress,
and the high of having somebody to work with  -
the fast batting of ideas, the ready
use of tools, the way it feels
to harmonize a wavelength

Because of this, you went back out again  -
late into the night,
though you had seemed completely spent,
- proof that energy is generated
from more sources than we knew.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 23, 2021

Clearer

 

Today I have been confident.
I have been willing
to trust entirely
in the unceasing arc of goodness

I have refused to give credence
to catspaws of fate
sending darting scenarios
across my thought

I have stayed here in the calm
where none of these things move me.
It has come clearer
that this perception
is not effaced by contradictions.
This perception
can take them all out.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 21, 2021

Pre-dawn

 

In the pre-dawn hours,
tossed on a sleepless shoal
by the roil of dreams,
trying one more toss
in hope of finding peace

I was delivered
by a rolling cloud of light
that bore my innocence aloft
as on a pillow  -
the reassuring rush
that who I am
is fully acceptable,
that whatever sordid stories were enacted
in my dream or in my waking,
they didn't need to stick to me

I could be carried on this truth:
that I was made to be
exactly what I am,
and will be so maintained,
and guilt and worry could fall away
like fog from rooftops -
the sun would shine on me
and show me free.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 20, 2021

Tree and Wind

 

I could be the wind.
I could be the wind that blows
sometimes hard, sometimes soft,
from different directions

I could be the wind
that swirls around and picks things up
and lets them fall elsewhere

And you could be the tree,
your leaves first, and then your limbs
stretching out along the lines
of my blowing, your roots reaching,
grasping a deeper anchor,
lines of strength growing up
along your trunk

You could be the tree
growing more and more
into yourself,  the essence of you
gaining power

It wouldn't be that I shaped you,
or that my essence
determined yours,
but what you are would not be harmed
by my presence -
what you are would reach into itself
and bring up more.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 19, 2021

Harmony

 

Someone once told me that harmony
was first about furniture making -
the fitting and shaping of wood,
the fine joinery
making each piece come together

And that it was metaphor making the link
to that which is found in sweet music,
and people's relations of joy and not friction
that all of us crave in our souls

Which doesn't explain
why working with wood
through the course of these last few days
has cleared my head fully
of all thoughts of poetry,
left me with nothing to say.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 17, 2021

Gentle Joy

 

Today I felt the satisfaction
of taking the long way,
the path without shortcuts  -
the value of chores that send me outside,
the pleasure of each step
that brings me into contact
with the creatures of the land,
their daily lives

Today I felt the satisfaction
of building a bench that we needed,
from old wood we used for the forms
for the house's foundation,
with tools and techniques that I've learned
through these years

And above all, today,
I was satisfied
to feel companioned by my source,
to feel release from thinking
I was on my own.
Today I reaped the gentle joy
of walking in the harmony of Life.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 16, 2021

Silent Fog

 

I walked out lost
into the silent fog of dawn,
and soon began to find myself ...

First chirps of birds - a jay close by,
the turkeys' distant morning declamations ...

A deer appeared, and then another,
moving almost silent, stopping suddenly
on noticing my presence,
heads quickly squared,
ears in a wide Y - then turning to move on
a little faster

I considered: this peace is not
mine to manufacture
with my will or.mind. I can't
force it from my pen ...

Today I walked out looking,
and there was wideness
and there was silence
broken open softly
by beings with their own certainty,
their own way of knowing

I will remember this
for other mornings when I need it.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 15, 2021

Keeping On

 

I have been warned
that demons follow hard on good works,
attempt to zap them,
try to bring the doer down
with self doubt and depression,
clog the steps, with frenzy try
to obfuscate the footprints

So I'm working hard to keep my cheer,
remind myself that these are signs
this is the right direction,
and using what is given me
to take the demons down,
renew my efforts
and keep on working.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 13, 2021

Bright Gift

 

The day was like this -
the kindness of others
letting me feel like a bright gift,
hoping I have done the same,
have passed the gift along,
sensing I have done so,
which occasioned the rich feeling
in the first place

There can be rainbows
in unexpected places  -
gifts of light which emphasize:
things here are truly crafted
for our joy. Our purpose
is to see it multiply.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 11, 2021

One Bright Moment

 

The sunlight glided beautiful
into the afternoon
which before was cloudy,
and it may have been my music
that made the cows come running  -
in any case, I was delighted to be there,
the tones of my recorder clear
if sometimes hesitant
(me mostly avoiding forgotten high notes)

The deer also took notice,
though they swung a wide arc
around my sound,.heading in a line
farther up the field

And I thought the bluebirds noticed, too,
though maybe we were all doing
our own celebration
of one bright moment
in this October day.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 10, 2021

As you are

 

Look - I know you grew up
being pushed around  - we all did -
I know you grew up being showed
there was no place for you, unless
you chose your side,
made your allegiance,
and did what you were told
would gain approval

It was like that for us all,
but listen  - remember how
a voice inside protested?
Remember how you knew that somehow
none of this was fair?

Maybe we all do. And maybe
we can save us all if we will notice:
We weren't designed to be pushed.
We weren't made to be molded.
The logic of ourselves
comes from the cherished center
where every molecule is given room
to frame the dance and dance it,
to grow up being exactly what it is,
and not be used as pawn or conduit

And you are not a route to someone else's
distant destination -
you are the place to be.
Right here.
Just as you are.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 9, 2021

In the house

 

It's strange to find ourselves
living in the house
(although it's not finished,
although it's not furnished)

And to think how these walls,
this roof, these doors and windows,
keep us warm and dry  -
a place that wasn't even here
four years ago,
a place that couldn't shelter us
till now

I feel the wildness
of the great outside,
just beyond the walls,
all around the house,
the daily swings
of temperature and moisture,
that we can step out into
and commune with anytime,
but can be shielded from
when we want.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 8, 2021

Luminescence

 

In the deepest reaches of your being
the jewel of humility
is ready to shine,
its pearly surface
catching the light,
showing itself beautiful,
casting its luminescence,
pure and iridescent,
rendering you enchanting.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 7  2021

Rain

 

The rain is not something we have earned,
nor did we earn those morning moments
before it came,
when light and leaf and cloud
revealed their splendor

But it is something we can revel in -
its sound on the roof, the quails
running around snatching up seeds,
the deer skittish as they browse,
the ground greening and softening

It is something that brings up gratitude,
like subtle colors deepening in contrast,
like clover seedlings springing from the soil.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 5,  2021

The river of you

 

Dust can't array itself
against a river

No amount of intricate
setting of snares
to catch and defraud,
to frame and denature
and marginalize
have any power
to halt or turn or block
in any way
the quick and vital current
of your being

Dust finally
has nothing to say at all.
The river of you runs clear
and wild and full,
loving every bank and turn and fall,
singing of its cause, its source,
its all.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 4,  2021

Alchemy

 

Alchemy has become
a popular word,
and I, for one, have experienced
that perfect balancing
where suddenly
all that came from me was gold -
truth from my mouth,
light from my being

But I need a deeper practice,
for my goal is not the sense
of being lit up from within,
but the illumination
that renders all the rumors of the shadow
irrelevant, forgotten, as they are,
in the bold line and color
of the day.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 3,  2021

Back to basics

 

Well, I have to remind myself each morning,
have to go back to it again
however many times in the day
I feel myself slipping

Follow the cause lines back
through the tendrils of my longing
and the flitting lights of my desire,
under and over the fears and blocked places
back to where the light comes clear
and the desire flames without guttering,
and everything in my being
that needs to be nourished
finds its connection to what feeds it

I have to go back
so I can start from there,
so what I am can flow freely
all the way down to where I find myself,
all the way through to what fills my days
with the giving of my gift
and the holy song of praise.


©Wendy Mulhern
October 2,  2021

Happiness

 

The land holds happiness within,
deeper than the roots of trees
that pull it up

I can tell because of the laughing clown dance
I did with my shadow,
for no particular reason
while running down to the cabin, twice

And the way the nip in October's wind
brought forth a sense of excitement,
and the way we settled into cozy
so easily, once we decided to stay home.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 1,  2021