Wrestling

I was wrestling my mind —

Oh, it was stubborn

and tenacious and strong.

It fought like something wild

struggling for its life.

I pried a finger up

but it grabbed back again,

harder, in another place —

It didn’t want surrender

I let it run awhile,

pacing like a caged cougar

along the old trails,

assuming, soon, the steady

disconnected trot

of one who must keep moving

but has no place to go

I challenged it: This is not

what you want, I said.

It turned to cling to me —

It would not listen

or let go

Till finally I saw

neither of us could win this battle

(so equally matched we were)

We had to give it up

for something higher,

Let ourselves, together,

be embraced,

be washed,

be tickled,

be home.

©Wendy Mulhern

February 2, 2015

photo by Jennifer Lopez-Santillana