Practicing

Here’s me practicing again,

and my piano practice is rough.

Maybe because it’s plagued

with the same thing that slowed

my other practice, in times past —

a sense I’d done enough, I shouldn’t

have to — it should come to me

by now — it’s come to others —

surely by now I’ve worked

as much as they …

Here’s me applying a lesson

to myself: as with that practice,

so with this — it takes immersion.

It takes abandoning, entirely,

thoughts of time and measurement.

It takes the humbleness

to be the instrument

of what is coming through …

If I can do it there,

well, the question is,

am I willing to do it here?

©Wendy Mulhern

December 14, 2019

Following

This is not a process of grand arcs,

though grand arcs inform it,

this is the way light falls

on every mote, on every crumble

of the soil, the way it sifts

between the needles,

falls to earth in chinks among the shadows

I cannot accomplish it

in one great sweep —

I follow it along the moments,

let the light seep

into every patch of thought it can redeem,

understand it now and now and now

ever new again along my path.

©Wendy Mulhern

November 28, 2019

Recurring Lesson

Back to the loop again

of learning

not to be afraid —

it’s not that difficult,

though it may seem so

in the echo chamber

of my benighted mind

I free myself from there

by tracing, in my thought,

the circle that enfolds us all,

that leaves out nothing,

so everyone, and every cause,

surrenders to the fact of being loved.

And in the all embracing love,

there is no fear.

©Wendy Mulhern

September 30, 2019

Meaning

With infinite patience

I’m brought round again

to learn the new meanings

which are the old meanings

from before the world began

I will learn them

here in the calm of late afternoon,

here in the rain washed, sun graced moments

when the turkeys wander back

from across the field

and crickets sing softly

and grasshoppers click

This isn’t something

I could ever learn alone,

and the great wonder is,

I don’t have to.

©Wendy Mulhern

September 19, 2019

Practice

Taking this in —

the steadying of the mind,

patient release of contradicting thoughts,

the focused honing

of concentration

I will learn like this,

move forward in the joy

of mastering this one most present thing

while keeping my attention open

so success won’t crash me,

but will let me move on smoothly

to what’s next.

©Wendy Mulhern

February 17, 2019

After the End

We move off from the place of focus

like crowds dispersing when the show is done —

our thoughts linger, wander, mill,

look for some remaining meaning

There are things we take with us

like small gifts tucked in pockets

to look at later in a quiet moment

Not sure what to do next

we feel the lightness

and the layered weight

of what we witnessed,

what we learned

All the while our love

moves into the spaces

ready to show us

as we emerge

how to make sense of it all.

©Wendy Mulhern

October 28, 2017

This Goodness

This is a slow learning,

to unclasp the grip

let hands relax

let go of trying

to hoard a share of good,

enough, perhaps

to shield me from my fears

This is a slow learning —

in time the breath grows deeper,

there are more before the gasp —

I start to find the space

to take in calm

This goodness is not mine to own,

to pull inside, to hold, to use

to stop the gaps within

Instead this goodness

is what holds me

and sweeps on through,

filling up all the emptiness,

flooding out the fear

as much for everyone

as for anyone 

(me too)

slow or fast,

right here.

©Wendy Mulhern

August 13, 2017

My Life

I want to be satisfied

but not self-satisfied. 

I don’t want to take my life for granted.

I want my life to be a quest,

a quest for more and deeper, truer,

of what is.

I have read, and I believe

there is no room for superstition

in understanding. I will endeavor

to place no weight on life’s events,

leaning instead

on the Spirit that is

the Life of everything.

©Wendy Mulhern

July 26, 2017

Piano Hands

My hands are slowly learning the terrain,

the steps, the reaches, changing intervals,

the black keys and the white,

which ones are called for in this signature,

coordination of the left and right

I didn’t know they had so much to learn,

I thought that they should know these things,

despaired to find they didn’t. I took a long time

crashing them through songs

thinking they’d never get it right

But they are learning

and I’m learning, too —

patience for things that take time,

willingness to do the work.

©Wendy Mulhern

July 19, 2017

What I Hoped to Convey

No sadness, large or small,

no let down, present or imagined,

has any right to cast a pall

on your exuberant existence

There may be things you need to learn— 

this doesn’t make you bad.

The fires of transformation, as they burn,

will bring you, clear and brightened,

far beyond

anything you may have thought you had

Each of us gets to go there,

each of us has to —

each of us, emerging from the flames,

will be new-formed, holy,

and yet the very essence

of what we’ve always known we are.

©Wendy Mulhern

June 28, 2017

Mosaic

Stand at the right place

and the fractured colors

form a mosaic,

and bits of meaning

from other contexts

take on new roles,

defining something else

Love the pieces —

the memories, the skills,

the hard-earned softness,

and love the new creation —

all these parts of life from other times

joined to form the compass rose of now.

©Wendy Mulhern

June 10, 2017

Point of Perfection

It was strange to step out from the story

of bumbling incremental progress

under tutelage of experts

in every undertaking we aspired to master

It was breathtaking

and hard to believe

we could progress

from the point of perfection,

lovely always, in everything we do

It seemed almost unfair

but we got used to it —

we attained it in one area

and then expanded

And found there still is plenty

of space to learn and grow,

starting from here

where we are good and worthy,

starting from here

where we are humble and perfect,

where we begin right

and so continue.

©Wendy Mulhern

April 24, 2017